Wednesday, May 25, 2011

It's my party and I'll scream if I want to! Part II

If there is one thing I hate more than cicadas it's snakes!!  And guess what slithered right in front of me in my own back yard this fine evening? A SNAKE. A big fat snake. I guesstimate 5 feet long and several inches round. It was black and hideous. Good heavens I can hardly even function any more today. My nerves are rattled so bad! This big bad snake came right between me and my precious baby Selina. Selina was swinging on her swing when she screamed "Spider!"
"Spider?" I thought. How can she see a spider in the grass? Then I saw it. It was no spider! It was the snake!!!!!!!!!!! But I didn't scream. A very odd, cool and casual voice came from me, "Selina, do not worry. It is but a snake. A long slithery snake that is by far more scared of you than you are of him. Look as he makes his way to the bushes over yonder. He shall be gone in no time at all and we will be safe again."
Where the heck did all that calmness come from? Inside, my heart was beating rapidly and hard, I wanted to pass out! Just as the snake cleared its way into the bushes, Ryan came into the yard. I saw him and immediately found my screamy voice, "RYAN!!!! THERE WAS A HUGE SNAKE RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!! IT WAS 20 FEET LONG. IT TRIED TO GET ME!!!  MY POOR BABY WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SNAKE - I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! OH RYAN IT WAS AAAAAAAAWWWWFUL!!!!"
Then Ryan rushed over to me, picked me up and gave me a big strong hug and said, "I'll protect you no matter what my dear!"
Nope, actually it went more like this, "Oh. What color was it?" 

"It was black, but not just any black, it was dark yucky black!" I replied.

"Hmm." He said. And that was it.

And so concludes my first day as a 27 year old.

This year I am going to start my own new tradition called "Phrases of the Day". Hopefully I will remember to do this again next year!  But I am going to write down some of the things that were said today that stand out. I can't wait to compare these to what will be said next year and the year after... :)

1) "Keira, where is your diaper?"
2) "Keira, where is your diaper - again?"
3) "Keira, where is your diaper? Fine, I'll potty train you." (Tomorrow will be potty training Day 1)
4) "Darn cicadas are EVERYWHERE!"
5) "Keira, don't eat flowers."
6) "Selina, you need to stop wearing winter clothes. It's a million degrees outside."
7) "I just saw the biggest snake ever in my whole life!"
8) "Ryan, go find me some red wine. Please."

The end.

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

Oh my word - I am so glad you started blogging. Reading your stuff is so much fun. :)

I'm about to post something that will come in handy for you and your potty training efforts with your littlest. Who know? Maybe YOU if you ever find a snake IN the house. Ha! Tune in.