Thursday, November 29, 2012

Young Love

Today Selina brought home this:
When I asked her who it was from, she said it was from a boy in her class. Apparently this little guy doesn't know how to spell so the teacher wrote the note on his behalf.

Then I slammed Selina with a million questions

1) Does this boy sit at your table?
2) Do you do stations together?
3) Is he nice? Polite? Respectful?
4) What about recess, do you hang out at recess?
5) What are his intentions?
6) Does he know you're not old enough to date?
7) Do you eat in the cafeteria together?
8) Have I met this boy before?

Selina looked at me with a sideways glance and said, "We just tie shoes together."

And so it begins... young love.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Picky Eater

Shamefully, I think I may be the newest picky eater in our household.

It all started back in 2006...

Before I became pregnant with Selina I pretty much ate anything (within reason).   I prided myself on being a person that would at least try something before deciding whether it is good or AWFUL. Once I even ate escargot by accident, but I at least ate it.

I will never eat escargot again by the way.

The only thing I would not eat is something out of water that looks like it's original version. So no, I will not eat shrimp because they still have their tails, nor will I eat lobster because it's looking at me with it's black beady eyes. I will however eat popcorn shrimp sans tails and I would also be willing to try a lobster bisque or something like that.

Well, I had this friend who wouldn't eat ground beef. I thought that was ridiculous. Other than vegetarians, who doesn't eat ground beef? This was a hard concept to swallow especially since I lived in the ground beef capital of the world.  If I didn't cook with ground beef, what on earth would my family eat 6 nights a week???? Shrimp with tails???? NO!   A live lobster from the grocery store fish tank, HECK NO.  Do you know that lobsters "scream" when you put them in boiling water. That's not right y'all!

So anyways, I'm going along in life eating ground beef and chicken and the odd pork chop when suddenly I get pregnant. Do you know what happened when I got pregnant? I'll tell you! I GAGGED every time I saw GROUND BEEF.  I felt like a sick crazy person frying up brains that smelled like rotten eggs  fermenting in a bucket of anchovies.  Every time I tried to cook with ground beef I wanted to vomit. But for the sake of keeping my husband alive and well fed I continued to cook it. Every package I opened I was undecided if it had gone spoiled or if my pregnancy hormones were yelling "Don't eat those death brains!"

The 10 months following when I was with child were tormenting and relentless. I had to live off Tim Horton's honey glazed donuts and that is why I gained 60+ pounds.
I hoped after I had Selina, my hate for ground beef would go away forever.

After Selina was born...

 I still hated ground beef.

1 year after Selina was born...

I don't hate it as much. Death brains still lingers in my mind, I dismiss it best I can.

Then I get pregnant with Keira and HAVE MERCY Death Brains are on the menu and I want to explore the option of eating tofu for the rest of my life. Plus now I can't stand chicken, pork, or any form of beef! I try to tell myself to just get over it! I have to be an example to little Selina, whom I will not allow to be a picky eater. She will eat whatever I make her dang it! And therefore, I have to eat it too!
I barely get through 10 months of pregnancy, secretly inhaling peanut M&M's to stay alive, and out pops Keira. She literally did pop out while I was watching a commercial about pizzas. Easiest delivery ever. The nurses served me lunch right after which consisted of a crispy fried pork chop, green beans, mashed potatoes, and sweet tea. You know you're in The South when...!
I gobbled that lunch right up and gave myself a pat on the back for liking meat again! Woo hoo!

Well, over the last 3 years I've been an on and off again meat lover. But there have been times when I just hated it and I'd cook vegetarian exclusively.
Can you all see what my husband puts up with? Bless his heart, he's willing to eat anything I make. However he does have one exception and that is a salad that has fruit in it. Not a fruit salad, but a salad with strawberries and goat cheese and a delish raspberry vinaigrette, that sort of thing. I made a salad the other night that had apples in it and a lingonberry vinaigrette. He thinks I am crazy for making it, but I assured him he is the crazy one and told him to watch our NON-PICKY kids love it. Turns out the kids poked the lettuce around with their forks looking for the apples because they didn't like the salad. Keira even declared, "Apples don't go in salads! They are a snack!" I shot an accusing look at my husband who knew I blamed him for this madness. He didn't return the look, but I could see the smirk on his face that said, "I told you so!"  At least I made a wonderful roast chicken to accompany the fruity salad, just for him. I on the other hand struggled with the chicken as I usually do nowadays because it was probably a happy clucking chicken just last week. Now it's on my plate.
Be an example and eat it anyways. There's still hope I will love chicken again one day.

Here is the whole point to this long winded story. My dreams of being a normal happy meat eater has been demolished by Selina because this is why:

 While I was eating chicken Selina says, "Mom?"

"Yes Selina?"

"Does the chicken feel you eating it?"

^%^*^%&*%&*(^&(^*^()^*(&*^&*$^&#%&$&#  THANKS SELINA!!!!!  I am now officially a VEGETARIAN.

Starting the day after Thanksgiving.

The end.