Monday, April 18, 2011

Who wants to renew their driver's license? Not I!!!

Two posts in one day...bear with me, I have to get it out!

This next one is all about the fun time I had when I went to renew my license. And by fun I mean horrible.  Or horribly funny - whatever you decide!

It was a dark, cloudy, rainy day. I dressed the children in their warm fuzzy jackets, and myself in a black hooded coat. We braved the elements as we walked to the car and got ourselves buckled in for the long gloomy trip all the way to the Gallatin Driver's Testing/Get a license Building.
When we arrived I found a single parking spot in a sea of cars. My tires squealed as I zipped in the last spot before anyone else could. After, I realized this kind of driving may be discouraged in these parts. Driving instructors could be lurking in the shadows around the building, taking notes and passing them on to the Head of Parking or the Dean of Driver's Safety.

We exited the vehicle and made a run for the front door. I opened the door and saw a tall burly guy - a no nonsense kinda guy. He sneered at me and in a gruff voice said, "NEXT in line step forward."  Somewhat intimidated, I approached his counter. My hands were shaking, but I managed to hand over my life in papers to him. He examined my visa and passport,  glanced at me expressionless, and then looked at the documents again. Then he put everything together, attached them to a clip board and growled, "Take a seat."

I noticed a sign above him that said, "THERE ARE 20 CUSTOMERS AHEAD OF YOU."  Luckily I brought a bag of gummy bears to keep the kids happy.

2 minutes later...

All the gummy bears have been devoured. My one and only life line had been used. I was stuck with 2 children on a gummy bear high, in a grey room that read 110F on the thermostat. (ok maybe not 110F, but close. It was hot in there. I suppose it's their way of making you talk and tell them all of your secrets.) I peeled off my jacket and tugged at the neck of my shirt hoping a nice breeze would blast by when the doors opened and closed. Suddenly the room started to get smaller and smaller and I looked around to find a window I could stare out of. But all of the windows had the blinds drawn. I didn't care what the burly guy thought, I am going to open the blinds!  And that's just what I did. I told the little monkey's to look out the window as something to do. They did so for a moment and then continued a game of running around like a bunch of wild geese. All of the other occupants in the room glared at me, annoyed that I brought my kids with me. Too stinkin' bad for them, at least they don't have to entertain them! Then I had a brilliant idea. I got my smartphone out and you tube'd Dora. I found a great little Dora show and put the volume on full blast just for the other folks in the room to e n j o y. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  I bet they will never again want to hear, "Come on animal rescuers, let's save the rhino stuck in the crack of a cliff in the middle of Winter with all of the strangley available rescue gear found in our teeny tiny backpacks!!"

45 minutes later...

"A082, please come to counter number 5."  Those were the greatest words I've heard all day - sure, I'll come to counter number 5!  Anything but sitting in these hard chairs anymore!  I hopped out of my chair and winked at the people that now were the ones who had 20 customers in front of them.
When I got to the counter I laid all of my paperwork out in front of an older, grumpy lady. Then sat my kids in a couple chairs directly behind me and plopped our coats on yet another chair. I told them to sit still and stay put. But, I think what they heard was: "Act like you're out of control and embarrass mommy."

"I'd like to renew my license please." I said to the woman.
Without looking at me, she nodded. Then she took all my papers to get photocopied. I turned around to see what my kids were up to. Selina was crawling back and forth over the rows of chairs and Keira had left with the coats and spread them over the dirty floor like door mats. I collected the coats and Keira, put them back on the seats and told Selina to sit still. Then I met the lady back at the counter. She was about to say something to me when I heard a scream from Selina followed by a collective "oh no!" from a small group of people around her. I swung around and saw that Selina had been crawling along the chairs again and her foot slipped getting stuck between the chairs. I suppose the way it twisted into the chairs made it look like she sprained it hence the "Oh no!"  
I excused myself from the lady at the counter and went to Selina's rescue. I yanked her shoe off then contorted her foot to her get unstuck. She survived.
I turned to go back to the counter and saw that Keira was missing.
"Keira!!! Where are you? Get back here!" I hollered. I looked here and there and finally saw a dark hall that lead to a small room at the back. A sign hung in the hallway that said, "Employees ONLY." Likely, that is where Keira went. Always drawn to places off limits.  I assured the now annoyed, grumpy lady I would be right back and ran down the hallway.  Sure enough I found Keira in the Driver Exam room, full of awkward teenagers stressing about their written driving exams.  Keira was in the center of the room running in circles, giggling loudly. I apologized to the young people under my breath and quietly walked backwards out of the room, Keira firm in my arms. As soon as I left, I turned and ran back to the main area, left Keira on a chair and went back to the counter.
"We need to take your picture now" the lady said as she pointed to a single chair behind a wall.  Now call me crazy, but I actually tried to make myself look half decent for this picture. I did my hair and make-up even better than I do for date night. I'm stuck with this picture for a while, might as well look fab! (Note: Husband laughed at my theory that a good picture may help me out of a ticket!)
But let's get back to reality. I have been stuck in a dungeon for over an hour with two little buzzards in sauna-like conditions. My hair was super frizzy and my mascara was smeared from the sweat of my brow. I was winded from chasing kids, and irritated by the whole situation. I sat on the chair conscious of the newly acquired twitch under my eye and the bulging vein in my forehead. I looked like the Hulk version of myself.

*CLICK* the camera went.

Several minutes later my license was finally finished. I didn't even want to know what my picture looked like. I may just get arrested based on that alone.

We finally left. Selina and I both agreed that was the worst time EVER!

Next time, I am going without kids!!!

The end.


Cindy said...

Next time leave the kids at my house!

Beverly said...

You need to post that picture!!!

Kristin said...

I don't think so Tim! I purposely drive better so I never have to take that thing out of my wallet!

jillmoore said...

I'm just now reading this, and it was entertaining, but I'm wondering if that office is open on Saturdays??? Because I have to renew before May 8, and I do NOT want to have to take the boys!

Kristin said...

The one in Gallatin is not open on Saturdays - I wold love it if they were!