Ok here's the deal; On or around May 10th the most hideous creature of all is going to take over Tennessee and basically the south-eastern states. Apparently these awful things can be found in many parts of the world. They are so gross and I am so sad that I have to endure this nasty phenomenon. Every 13 years the cicadas come up from the ground by the zillions and the boy ones and girl ones hook up. They make terrible sounds that are stupidly loud because there are so many of them.
Oh, before I forget, here is a sketch I drew of what it looks like:
Anyways, the boy ones and girl ones mate and drop their eggs. Then the eggs burrow back into the ground for another 13 years. Then the mommies and daddies die and leave their crunchy carcasses all over the place.
Thankfully they are harmless, but they have no problem flying into you *WHACK* right into your eye. They are also attracted to loud noises ie: lawn mower. The whole cicada takeover lasts 4-5 WEEKS.
I don't do bugs. I hate them, they deserve to die. I wondered how I would survive the "south" with all the species of bugs here. Back home there is only one, The Mosquito.
I have worked hard not to scream my brains out when I see a spider and I've also stopped calling Ryan to leave work and come home to kill a spider. If it's little, I'll kill it myself. But if it's big I will cover it with something heavy and get Ryan to kill it when he gets home. I love vacuuming them up because there is no squishing involved. But Ryan has to empty the vacuum canister since there's a possibility the spider is still alive and seeking revenge on me.
Thankfully "the south" offers a variety of bug-killing companies and we've hired one of them to come spray poison all over our house and sweep the cobwebs away. I'm telling you, if I ever had to choose between cable and bug guy, I would cut my cable in 2 seconds.
Back to the cicada! Well, I don't think the bug guy will be able to rid them of my property and we have to live them for weeks on end. I've decided to stock pile my groceries and any other necessities because I am not leaving my house. I am currently planning outdoor events to take place before May 10th - such as Ryan's Birthday party. Everything I need to do, needs to be done before the cicada comes.
Ugh, I don't know what else to say. All I can think of is this; If you live in Canada and have a spare room available between May 10th and June 15th can I come live with you? Will pay you in Easter eggs.